“Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength”- Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
Well, I believe my body is settled down now. With all the training and racing and everything that entails I think I know where my body is at, haha I mean its condition. After almost a year, it can be discouraging but at least I know where I am.
My body does not hurt.... YEAH!! I can go up and down stairs with no pain and my feet are fine. I bought some slippers yesterday and it takes all the pain out of my heel in a split second, so I'm good. Everything is fine. However, my body is like two different body's put together. My upper body is out of shape. Every time I start to work on it, it takes maybe two weeks and I stop. I'm just not motivated to do that, well, I wasn't motivated, I am now.
After the 1/2 Marathon I began to take an assessment of what was going on. I noticed I really don't have a lot of upper body strength and my core is not conditioned whatsoever. So, I thought about it and just like I wanted my first goal to not quit running, be faithful to run, I'm making another goal: To not quit working on upper body conditioning, be faithful. I'm not waiting for the New Year like I did last time. I think it would be a good idea to start today. Today is Saturday.
Also, I know how much I weigh and what my nutrition has been and this is where the patience comes in. I've done it very slowly. Not on purpose I don't think, because in my mind I would love to be about 30lbs lighter. by now but I am not. I need to loose about 60lbs. That sounds like a whole lot, in comparison to the way I look, but my body has always held onto weight. Again, common sense says, "If you're lighter, you'll run faster." So, that is why its 60lbs. I bounce all over the scale in a matter of days and hours but if it were averaged out I'm 190lbs. I figured if I were 130lbs that in of itself will make me a faster runner, right? So now, I'm going to start switching out foods for healthier ones and start down that path. From my point of view now, its going to take a lot more discipline to do that. A mountain I have NEVER had victory over :-( I need help on this one.
That being said, I do have some peace about my progress. I've seen Biggest Looser and I congratulate everyone in their success but they end up with so much loose skin that I really don't want that to happen to me. Keep in mind I started out at 226lbs. I have noticed that when people loose weight real fast that is something they have to deal with. I know sooooo many people who loose 100lbs in a year, which is awesome. So, loosing 35-40lbs in a year seems like nothing. But I have kept that off. I know I don't have to deal with as much loose skin as others and its because I've taken it slow.
I forget who said but someone told me to be patient with the weight loss you will not have to deal with your skin looking like that. There may be some but not to that degree. When I heard that I stopped being so angry at myself. I'm more aware of what my body is going through including skin. The pattern has been loosing 1-2 lbs and staying there and some times gaining a little then dropping 3-4lbs. I bounced back and forth between 199 and 201 for months! But then it started dropping more and more and I've maintained that.
Its also pretty consistent in various runs and races I average an 11 minute mile. That is what I'm most proud of!! That may seem slow to some but for me that means I'm good! I can also run 13.1 miles! That may not seem too long for some but for me, I can run pretty far!! I'm proud of my running ability! If you think of it, I was able to run 11 minute miles 13 times! That is so cool!!
I can't stay where I'm at. haha that didn't hit till after I finished the 1/2 Marathon. Believe it or not, I want to run faster and longer! Can you believe that?!?! It sounds funny when I say that because for Toni McAlister doing what I just did is like the top of the world, why would I need to go longer and faster? I don't have the answer to that question. I just know I want to :-) I guess I want to beat Toni haha
If in 1 year I lost 35-40lbs (pending on the time of the month) and I can run an 11 minute mile and run for 13.1 miles why not try to beat that this year? Knocking off pounds, going faster and farther....I think I can do that. Its just funny in my shoes to think of doing something faster than what I do now or going beyond 13 miles....I think the most crazy thing of it all is dropping in weight and size. I think that is where the evidence that I am a different person. You can see some of it now but what will it look like in a year from now?
These are just my thoughts, wondering, what kind of transformation will I be going through again? This kind of patience is active, I like being active haha can you tell? :-) I guess its around the time of my birthday that I'll start keeping track of progress that happens yearly :-) That's fine, I just know I started this blog January 1st but that was the day that I decided to be a runner!